Tools/Techniques

If you have never worked with Dr. Grant and would like to, please click on the "New Patients" page to the left, read it, and follow its directions.  I welcome the chance to work with you!

Kill the Double-Standard

When you are thinking negatively about yourself, ask yourself “would I think this way about my best friend?” or “would I talk this way to someone with a problem like this?”  Then ask “what would I say to him/her?”  Notice that you would probably be a lot more encouraging to someone else than yourself.  So, why the double standard?—the unrealistically high one for you and the realistic one for someone else?  Kill the double-standard and talk to yourself in the same realistic way you would to a friend you care about.

Being more realistic with yourself and holding yourself to a reasonable standard also helps you have more empathy, understanding, and compassion for yourself.  These are things your best friend would want from you, right?  So, give them to yourself, too! 

As you gain increased compassion for yourself and stop beating yourself up or holding yourself to unrealistically high standards, you then become able to actually take a step forward.  No one responds well to beatings and neither do you.  More understanding, more compassion, more empathy for yourself means a greater likelihood that you will plan and take a little step forward (see Baby Steps for help with this).  As you take each step forward, you feel better about yourself and your mood improves. 

Realistic self-standards > compassion for self > forward movement > better mood. 

For a paper copy of the Toolbox, click here.

The CBT Toolbox

1101 Johnson Avenue, Suite 200   Myrtle Beach, SC  29577     P: 843.839.9028     F: 843.839.9029

Coastal Center for Cognitive Therapy, PA